Self Esteem & Self Concept

Our self esteem and self concept is connected to our past

When we think about Self Esteem and Self Concept we have to understand that although they are about how we view ourselves there usually other factors as to why we see ourselves the way we do. For instance, you and I didn’t automatically start out seeing ourselves in a negative light the moment we were brought into this world.

So, when did it begin?

Was it yesterday, 15 years ago or 50 years ago? 

Most of us began to build the view of ourselves in early childhood. Even before we could talk, we learned about who we were and how important we were by the cues we received from our caregivers and those around us. Are we loved enough to be fed and changed when we ask for it? Does moms face tell me she loves me? Am I important enough for dad to play with me?

Take a moment and really let that sink in. From the moment I was born those around me helped shape the view I have of myself.


My childhood was great!

As we continue to grow and get older our self-view is affected by a wider more diverse group of people. We have peers, peers’ parents, babysitters and teachers. They now add to how we view ourselves as well.

Even if our early childhood shaped us to be confident and resilient, these outside forces can warp that positive view we have of ourselves, especially in our school age years. It can be something as simple as a teacher sharing our paper with the class as an example of what not to do. Suddenly, we are overwhelmed by the feeling and thought “I must be dumb”. Then add the 20 other children laughing at your mistake and they just confirmed your thought, “I must be dumb”. In a matter of moments, you begin to see yourself as dumb. This moment can truly shape the rest of your life and how you view and feel about yourself.  

You may be saying to yourself right now, this was just one moment, there is no way it could change the positive view I have of myself and you’re probably right. However, as we progress though the years, things like this happen a multitude of times in a multitude of ways, until we’ve formed a harsh view ourselves.

Then we get older

And suddenly we experience things that confirm this harsh view we have of ourlves and they solidify that our self-view is correct. Maybe you don’t get the promotion at work and without even giving it a thought, you say to yourself “see I am not worth it. Why did I even try? This is who I am and who I am always going to be.” 

As we move through life we will find ourselves in situations that confirm and even remind us just how negatively we view ourselves. These views not only tell us we aren’t good enough, but they hold us back and keep us from striving and acheiving our goals.


There is Hope

We can change the view we have of ourselves; we just have to accept that this isn’t the way it always has to be. With the help of Emotional Freedom Technique and Energy Healing we can revisit those moments in our life and change the way we connect to them. The emotion and energy of that moment can be released allowing you to live outside of its shadow. 

Instead of carrying around the memory, emotion and energy of the past and allowing it to control how we see oursleves, we can actually break free of it. Once we do that, a whole new world is opened to us and it’s one that isn’t controlled by our past 


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