Living Free from the Shadows of Our Past
The truth is, we don’t have to live this way, we can step out of the shadow of the past and into the sun of the present. You can live free from the shadows of your past.
Today we’re going to talk about living free from the shadows of your past, and although that may sound farfetched or not possible, I’m here to tell you it is absolutely possible. In our life, we’ve been sold this thought that whatever happened to us in the past, even though we’re still dealing with it, is just the way it’s going to be. And I used to believe that. I used to believe wholeheartedly that the hurt and the trauma in my past were going to haunt me. It was going to cause me to feel horrible for the rest of my life, but the truth is, we don’t have to live this way. None of us have to just survive it. We truly can begin to move past it and step out of its shadow and into the sun of the present.
Let’s talk about these shadows
From the ages of 0 to 7 our core beliefs are formed. That’s when we decide what the world around us is and where we fit in it. So, if our opinion of ourselves and the world around us was formed when we were five, does that mean today, we’re making decisions through the eyes of a 5-year-old?
The answer is yes!
Yes, we are. We make decisions every day based on how we feel about ourselves. Based on the core beliefs that were learned back when we were just kids, and sometimes even before we could walk and talk.
Does that mean there’s nothing we can do about it? Well, that question right there…that’s where the lie begins. The lie we tell ourselves is that this is just the way it must be. It happened, it’s in the past and I just have to deal with it in the future.
But here’s the truth, you don’t. You do not just have to survive the past. We don’t have to remain stationary where we’re at because at five years old, we didn’t think we were good enough. We can change those beliefs and release those old feelings and experiences. You no longer must carry them around allowing them to stop you from living outside of the shadows of your past.
How do we live free from the shadows of our past?
Well, just like any other healer, I too had a hard childhood and I too have spent lots of time trying to heal. I found the Emotional Freedom Technique, (if you’re not familiar with this technique follow this link to learn more: https://tinyurl.com/hlweft or EFT) and was able to go back and literally change how I think about myself.
Okay, time for some truth. I didn’t use to think I was good enough, seriously I wasn’t good enough for anything. The words POS used to come to mind. Now, years later, I know, and I believe that this is not true. That thought was instilled in me from a very young age and had to do with the older people around me who truly had their own problems. It didn’t really have anything to do with me, but it affected me just the same, let me give you an example.
Several years ago, I was working for this great boss. He was really easygoing, and we got along really well. But I am a perfectionist and he asked me to do something that didn’t come out the way he anticipated, nor the way I anticipated. His thought was to simply have me start over, but the mistake I made brought me to my knees. This mistake which in all honesty only delayed the project a day and wasn’t really a big deal, completely crushed me.
Worthless
I just felt worthless and like there was no way I could do this or anything. The words “I guess it’s time to fire me” came out of my mouth. Who says that? Now my boss was great and joked it off like ha-ha isn’t that funny Char? But in Char’s mind, I truly believed the only thing he could do was fire me. I wasn’t good enough because I made a mistake. It was just a mistake.
Well, through the use of the Emotional Freedom Technique, I decided maybe I could let that feeling go. I allowed myself to be taken back to when the thought that I was worthless, came into play. This made me wonder what memory it was that makes me feel this way now, 45 years later. So, I went back to about the age of five. Now there were some things prior to five, but five is the one that really connected to this mistake I made. It was simply a memory of spilling a bowl of soup and the comment was “what is wrong with you? Can you not just sit there without making a mess?”
It’s not the same
Shocked, I thought this isn’t even the same type of mistake I made at the office, and truly it didn’t seem like a big thing. As an adult, I was saying “what’s the problem? I don’t understand why this is connecting to me”, but it didn’t matter. My mind had solidified that the mistake I made at the age of 5, made me worthless.
So, I chose to go ahead and begin the EFT process and start started tapping through the memory and the emotions behind it. Then what I found as I fast-forwarded my memories is there were times in my life that connected to that moment. Like telling my science teacher that I wanted to be a baby doctor and the teacher saying, “you think you’re smart enough for that?”
Again, it is not the same exact thing. Yet those 2 moments were connected. It was one more time that solidified the fact that I was not good enough, that I was worthless. Then I fast forward even more and I kept running into these types of memories, where the world around me kept telling me “the belief that you are not good enough is absolutely true.”
So, I began to process those emotions and feelings with EFT and what I found is that the feeling of being worthless is not there anymore. That feeling of making a mistake…yeah, okay, I might feel dumb but making a mistake no longer brings me to my knees. It no longer puts me in a puddle on the floor. It no longer makes me think that I should be fired because of a mistake.
Huge Impact
If that has that much of an impact, this small moment of spilling your soup on the floor has an impact 40 years later, imagine every moment in our lives and how it affects the present. It’s huge! But we don’t have to live this way, we can take our control back. We have the power to change our lives, we just have to take that step.
So, what are the shadows of our past?
They are all those moments, those beliefs, those events that tell us who we are, and our place in this world that hold us right here in this moment. If you’re reading this, there’s something you’re searching for, something that you want to maybe change or something that maybe you’re ready to let go of. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here with me, and I’m so glad you are!
I’m here to tell you that there is a way! Through EFT you can begin to let go of the past.
Changes are never easy
To be honest making changes won’t always feel like sunshine and rainbows. For instance, in the beginning, it was hard not knowing how to feel when I make a mistake. At that moment the mind would say “wait, what’s going on here, we’re supposed to feel horrible, and we don’t!” In these moments we simply need to tell the mind that it’s okay not to revert to that old feeling.
But you can live the life you want. Will it be a perfect life? No, probably not. Nobody’s life is perfect and there’s not a single person who can sell you perfection. But what if you could have more happiness, joy, calm, peace, and love? What if you could change a few things, and it have such a huge, wide impact on where you are and where you’re going?
Living free from the past
In that moment that is living free of the shadows of our past! That is, you stepping out into the sun of the present. That is, you not being held back, not feeling worthless, and not feeling however it is you woke up feeling today.
EFT is what I found that worked for me, what helped me to let go of the past, and changed those old feelings. I shifted so much that I realized it wasn’t me that was dumb and stupid. It was the people around me and they were going through hard things themselves. They were struggling themselves because they were still living under the shadows of their past.
My gift to you
Today I would like to offer you a free eBook called Living Free from the Shadows of Our Past. To download this book please visit: https://tinyurl.com/hlwlivingfree This eBook is just going to begin down the path of explaining why we have these shadows, and how we can get out from under them. The exercises that are in this book are not meant to cause or make trauma bigger, so we’re not going to start with that. We’re just going to start on the very surface.
If you are ready for deeper healing and ready to go further into the past, I’m going to encourage you to reach out to somebody. Reach out to me, schedule an appointment if you’d like, or reach out to another practitioner, a therapist, or a friend. When we work with trauma and hardships throughout our life, it’s very helpful to have a guide. Our brain does not want us to recall painful things, so it tends to skirt around them, and a guide can help you through that journey.
Thank you
I would like to thank you for spending time with me today and for talking about the shadows of our past. I know that’s not always easy, but my hope is that you walk away with a sense that it might be possible to break free of these shadows. It may be possible to live free of them.
Until we meet again, may your day be filled with love and light.
~Charlene
To download the free eBook visit: https://tinyurl.com/hlwlivingfree
If you have questions or comments that you would like to share, feel free to e-mail me at charlene@healinglightwellness.com
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